It hit me last night....really hard, like a brick to the chest.
I can't do it over, can't take it back, can't start from the beginning again. Each day is NEW. Each day is fleeting and fast and full, and once it's over it's over. And your babies are turning into toddlers, milestones are piling up into walls, independence and maturity and life lessons....all at once.
I sobbed and sobbed as I folded the little clothes that the four of them are constantly growing out of. Never to wear again. I can't take back the rough days, though they were meant for me. I can't hold onto the good days, except through photographs or words, which only go so far to really convey the emotion and senses of that moment. I can't do anything to stop time and yet......it is a gift.
Even though it seems like the same things happen each day, the same mess to clean, the same discipline issues....the next day really isn't the same. Its a new day the Lord has made, your children have gotten a little older, a little taller, a little wiser. And soon you'll add all those littles up to one big chunk of time. When we aren't paying attention that time escapes.....and we find ourselves staring into this kids almost as tall (or taller) than we are.
And we can't take it back. We can't redo the wrongs we have done, we can only move on. So cherish CHERISH each day. (talking to myself here) hug and kiss that little toddler running around in her little pink panties and pink camo hat, tickles that little preschooler who is scared of the poisonous dart frogs (but only at night) who dreams of crazy ways they "just might" make it to hawaii, have special talks late at night with that 1st grader about love and life and God, and snuggle that little babe, so quickly piling up her own milestones.