Saturday, June 26, 2010

Feminism can take a Flying leap!

SO I've been doing a lot of blog hopping and book reading lately on the subject of The role of a wife and mother. And let me say for beginners I am quite shocked at what I've found. There is a growing group of meek yet not so timid women who are actually joyfully raising their little girls to be homemakers, to stay at home and serve their husbands and children. Now the question is are you offended or intrigued?

To tell you the truth I was at first, a little offended. Not because I see anything wrong with being a homemaker (I should hope not since my mother an I are both homemakers!), but to intentionally and specifically train your daughter to be a homemaker? I had never heard of such a thing! Many thoughts ran through my mind, what about your talents and gifts? What about security of having a career and job in the event you lose your husband? What about your education? What about your contribution to the finances? What about..........what God wanted for your life? This was my first clue I had been brainwashed by feminism.

From the time I was a little girl, everyone asks what you want to be when you grow up. What do you want to do, where you want to work. To be honest my first thought was never to be a Wife and Mother. I can give you a long list of careers I dreamed of having as a young girl, none of them included the two most important roles a woman be. The two roles that we were created, gifted and blessed to be. I never realized that this was the ugly face of feminism, telling me in secret that being a wife and mother weren't roles to aspire to.

You see feminism is clothed in bright, beautiful garments, whispering in your ear and telling you that you are so much more than just a homemaker. That you were made to do and be all that a man can and is. That if you don't enter the work force, get educated, {conform} you aren't worth as much as those who do. It has told generations of women that choosing to stay at home wasn't acceptable or valuable. That you were worthless. Worth less than those who pounded the pavement and held their degrees, attaining and surpassing men in rank and wage. I know because my own Mother suffered from this prejudice. Her idea of her own worth and the importance of her career were damaged because of this.

Feminist Simone de Beauvoir states, "No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make it."

Vivan Gornick states, "Being a housewife is an illegitimate profession...The choice to serve and be protected and plan towards being a family-maker is a choice that shouldn't be. The heart of radical feminism is to change that."

And unfortunately for many, it has done just that. Wages for men have gone down making it nearly impossible for the average husband to support his wife and family forcing scores of women into the work force. Woman have been lied to and convinced that taking care of those most important to her isn't a job, isn't important, isn't valuable. I have even made the mistake of saying, "I don't have a job!" I've been a wife of 11 years and a mother for almost 6 and it's only now that I am beginning to embrace and understand my role. And the more I learn and study, the more I can identify the areas where feminism and a world view of service has damaged my attitude as well as my identity as a housewife. What I should be and will be focusing on from now on, is my Biblical view of a wife and a mother. Because according to the Word of God, without me, man is incomplete.

Reading the creation account in Genesis 1 we find a few things. God was pleased with His creation, many times He called it "good". One time though, he looked on all that had been formed and declared something "not good". You know what it was? Loneliness and need. Adam was in need of a companion. He wasn't just bored being by himself, didn't just want someone to talk to, he needed someone, his existence was incomplete. Nothing could complete him other than someone who could help him, be with him, someone compatible. Not of dust, like man was formed, but from his side, God formed his helper, his mate, his companion. And when woman was made and God's creation was complete what was it that God said? It was good? No, He said it was Very Good. We are a special part of God's creation that He sees as very good. Our role as wife not only compliments our husbands, it completes the picture of what God says is very good. Adam alone, without a helper, was incomplete. We weren't an after thought or an "Oh yeah!" We were the final touch, the icing, the perfect compliment, that "special" creation that was needed, for God's creation to be deemed very good.

Let's take a quick look at the "illegitimate profession" of Keeper of the House. According to Proverbs 31 an excellent wife is one that is hard to come by. Why is that? If anyone can do it and do it well, aren't we a dime a dozen? Isn't it a talentless, menial job? No, she is trustworthy and loyal to her husband, she is thrifty and industrious and adds to his wealth, she is talented in many areas, she is a seamstress (a creator of beautiful things) she is a talented chef, providing healthy and delicious foods some of which she may have grown, she is resourceful and has an entrepreneurial spirit and mind, she is strong and willing to work hard, she is up early and to bed late making sure her house and those in it are cared for~it is her priority, she is generous and cares for the poor and needy, she speaks and does good to her husband, her service to him and their children allow him to fulfill his God-given duties and roles as she fulfills hers, she contributes to her husbands success, she has strength and dignity, she fears the Lord, she is wise and plans for the future, she is a teacher of wisdom, tempered with Mercy and kindness, she is skilled at managing the home and all that goes along with it, she uses her time wisely. And because of this, her children will bless her and praise her. Her husband will have a good reputation.

The saying, "Behind every good man, is a good woman." Is true! If it weren't for the dedication and hard work of a willing wife, the husband cannot be successful in all that God has called him to be. In my season of life I am seeing this first hand as Dave has been called to the Ministry. God has been opening up more and more doors for him to share His word and teach! God is transforming Dave's love for teaching science, and using it for His glory. If I am not capable of caring for the kids and the home, for making meals and training our children, he cannot fulfill his calling.

I hear you, you are chanting along with the feminists, "What about your calling? Your talents?"  I use them everyday! I majored in education, homeschooling our children I use that talent and passion every day. I majored in Art, I am free to create and "do art" all the time, though it may look different than Painting 101, I create! Having 4 children has allowed me to study and research pregnancy and birth which I am passionate about! I have a love for learning that keeps me quite busy all week long! Scores of other women are using their talents in running their homes everyday! It's no small task to run a small business such as a family. It takes intention, organization, shrewd business skills in many areas. It takes hard work and determination, kindness and love, patience and mercy. It takes brains to be an excellent wife.

Many people have asked if I will return to teaching (in a school) once the kids are all in school. I always answer, "I don't know! Maybe!" For many reasons. More recently I have actually started to enjoy my role as a wife and mother, which for a long time I didn't think was possible. I thought it was normal to struggle with this stage of my life and basically not enjoy it. I don't give a clear answer because I don't know the future and life has been so full of God's desires and plans rather than my own, that I have a hard time focusing on the future in that sense. I think "maybe" because I like my peers, I like working for and with my best friend, he's a lot more forgiving and friendly than those I've found in the world. I can't be fired from this job;)

My heart has been opened to fulfilling my role as wife and mother in a way that is pleasing to God. I desire to serve my family in a new light, one that previously hadn't shined in a way that it does now. I supposes I didn't realize just how special my role was. Through my role I am serving not only my family but my God.

Matthew 25:37-40
 37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’   40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,[f] you were doing it to me!’


  1. Excellent post!!! So exciting to read this.

  2. OMG... who the hell are you

  3. Thank you Tiffany! You were the introduction with Raising Homemakers, I've fallen into a plethora of encouraging women and posts! I have more of these stirring around in my brain as God opens up these new avenues of thought for me!

  4. Thank you. For 36+ years I have been told being a wife and mother is not a job, certainly not a profession and always worth-less ( in so many ways ). God bless you child and may He continue to lead in your life.

  5. Great post Tia! I have definitely struggled with that as well, especially since I gave up a "high paying career" for a job that essentially pays nothing! But, after doing some research we figured out that we save more by having me stay at home then we would by having me work. People don't always realize that aspect of things. :) PS - Can I get your Grandma's e-mail (assuming she has one) I promised her picture s of the boys!

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