Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Beauty in the Midst of the Mess

Today is one of those days I wake up, not wanting what I know is looming.
The clutter making it's own home around the house.
The laundry so behind I could donate it all and dress a family of 6 for a month.
The schooling, left unplanned because of lack of time over the weekend to do it.
The empty fridge lacking the essentials to get us through even breakfast.
The errands and tasks needing to be accomplished.
The growing list of things "to-do" that always seem to get added to instead of crossed off.

Today is the day to feel like a failure. To look around and know I'm not measuring up (but to what and who?).
To question myself as a Mother, a wife, a friend, a teacher. Maybe I should send all the kids to public school. My house would be so much cleaner, my laundry would at least have a chance at a Mole hill instead of a mountain, errands would be easier with fewer kids in tow.

But you know.........I didn't sign up for an easy clean life when God blessed me with children.

My house is a mess because the kids are busy learning and enjoying life.

My laundry is piled high because I spend my days with my little ones, measuring my time by them and their needs.

The planning was unfinished because of fellowship with family and friends that happily gobbled up my free time.

The shopping, cleaning, lists upon list of things needing my attention, all of these things I cannot accomplish, cannot get done, feel like a complete failure at. Remain, because when it comes down to it, it's because I spend that time with my children. Pouring the best of my energies into them. It's not because I'm lazy, incompetent, in need of re prioritizing or in need better planning.

So my house will remain cluttered, laundry piled, tasks left undone with the evidence of a life given to my children. It may not look beautiful to you, you may question my abilities at holding down the fort, keeping it all together, making it work-or not.  But our days are beautiful to my children, when you ask them what we've done during our time together.

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