Sunday, May 10, 2009

Thoughts of Motherhood

This is only my fourth year enjoying the benefits of Mother's Day...and while the roses are nice, and the has been each year, a time for me to both reflect on the kind of Mother I am, as well as how absolutely grateful and blessed I am to have these children.

Mothering hasn't come naturally for me, not that I am not caring and nurturing, but to be honest, I really didn't know who I was or what I should do as a Mother in most "mother" situations. Though I am one that is easily ruled by emotions and intuition, Motherhood was one area that I repeatedly did not trust my gut with. I could list a fury of reasons why, but the bottom line was that it took me time, prayer and many parenting books to get to know the Mother in me. To know who I was and what I was comfortable with as a Mother.

But most of all it took me getting closer to my Lord and Savior in order for me to be any kind of successful mother by God's standards, and even then everyday I fall short, everyday I fail and am reminded of God's Grace and Mercy towards me. I am reminded just how much I need the Lord in my life each and every moment. Holding me fast, guiding me. My one goal in parenting is to be the best, not by the Worlds standards, but by God's. These little children deserve the best example of woman who loves the Lord with all her heart, soul, mind and strength. They deserve the best example of someone living their life for Christ. And I alone can't give them that. It is only on my knees daily that I find the strength to give of myself to the point of exhaustion in every area. And again, with that comes failure after failure and again comes God's love, to pick me up, and continue learning about myself, about His love and His mercy.

The closer God draws me in the more I understand His relationship with us as a child of His. What it has taken Him watching our success and failure. Our dedication and disobedience. Our dependence or lack of faith. The joys He feels when we love and serve Him as we were created to do, and the pain and sorrow that having to train and discipline us brings.

Raising up children has only one purpose and that is to point them towards to savior. To nurture and love them to the Glory of God. I've read a few times..."motherhood is not for me! It is to bring God glory!!" I love that, it means so much to me and it is so true. I don't know if I'll have 3 kids or 9. I know that whatever our family looks like, I want to be content with how the Lord has blessed our family. And I want to bring Glory to God in raising our kids.

I am often brought to me knees in overwhelming thankfulness at how richly we've been blessed by these 3 lives. Yes the times are hard for many reasons, but we are blessed! We ARE blessed! What an honor to be entrusted with these little souls! What an awesome responsibility! One that is too great for me to handle on my own. I cannot bare this load without the help of Jesus, I am too weak, that I know. But in my weakness HE is made strong, and He is glorified.

So everyday is Mother's Day...every day is my day to show my kids the richness living a life for Christ is, learning along with them what it means to be a follower of Christ....and leading them in the path of truth. Thankfully I don't walk that path alone.

1 comment:

  1. Good thoughts. I find myself thinking them as well. I too had to learn to trust my gut. After Maryn was born, the books went OUT the window b/c I couldn't seem to measure up to them, and if I didn't do all that was recommended, I found I was feeling overwhelmed and like a bad mommy. With Lucy, things have been so much different since I put away the books on eating and sleeping, etc. This freedom is lovely as I think about my baby and what she needs. I have learned to pray when I don't know what to do instead of consulting a bunch of people who don't know my kid, I ask the One who made her. :) Oh, Happy Mother's Day, Tia!!!!!! HUGS!



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