How has selfishness and me~ism seeped into our hearts and minds? Well for me it's an internal attitude and thought process that continually puts myself at the forefront. It's a selfish desire on my part for someone else (namely my husband) to help out when it is my own servant attitude that needs a check up. I'm not saying a husband can't help with the house or the baby. But how is my attitude?
I have been catching myself more often (as I believe the Holy Spirit is working on me) identifying these attitudes. One night after I had cooked dinner, cleaned up the kitchen and bathed the kids, I asked Dave to get their toothbrushes from downstairs. He did, and left them on the counter. Was I thankful or grateful he helped by doing that? No, my immediate thought was, "Well sheesh you could have brushed the kids teeth for me! I just made dinner, cleaned up, AND bathed the kids!" Right away I was stung with the reality of my lack of a servant attitude and grateful heart. Even though most times these thoughts don't escape my mind, they are dangerous and damaging in the thought process alone. They speak volumes of where my heart is in all of these matters.
“So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last.”
1 John 3:1616This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
I have heard so many times how the woman needs to put herself first, take care of herself because no one else will. Look out for #1. Yet this is the antithesis of what they Bible teaches! Our lives are to be layed out in service to others, there is no greater love than this! And yet we are fed lies that we should be above others, we have a thankless job of service, we are doormats that everyone rubs their muddy shoes on. We've heard some of these things so often I think we have become brainwashed into thinking we deserve to be treated better than others. And when it doesn't happen we are bitter and angry about being left in the dust. For me this is pure selfishness!
True servant-hood requires and expects nothing in return, sometimes not even a thank you or acknowledgment that something has been done! It can be so difficult to lay down the act of serving, get your heart in the right place, ready for your service or work to be ignored by man. We long for human praise and acknowledgment like the pharisees in Matthew 23, lengthening our meaningless tassels, enlarging our empty phylacteries. But never forget that God sees your service. But He also sees your heart, if your heart is not in the right place, what good is the service!